Two cliches, I’m finding, date from England in the 1500s: yes, Tudor England, where they hanged you for attending a different church. The cliches are “You’ve made your bed; now lie in it.” And “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” First, why make a bed and then lie in it? After I make a bed, it’s time to leave the room and get outside. Second, it’s quite easy to have our cake and eat it too. Once I eat a cake, I still have it: inside. Whatever usefulness the cliches may have had way back in my family history is gone, along with the rest of dysfunctional talk that says I don’t have choices or even if I do they will be wrong. I don’t need to believe a 500-year-old message just because it’s been spouted 1000s of times before. People who don’t know the whole story will tell me to stay stuck, as they are. They will even call me after I’ve made my firm decision, and they will demand that I return to the circle of hell where they choose to stay in torment, unable to have any pleasure except by tormenting others. I can write a note: “I’ve made my bed, so I’m leaving now. The (metaphorical) sheets are changed. Goodbye. Oh, and the other day I had the most amazing cake. Fresh and moist, with organic ingredients. Too bad yours is still sitting out on the (metaphorical) cake plate, gathering dust and flies.” If that sounds harsh, it’s only because we’re not used to flexing the resilient muscle of our hearts. Don’t worry. The lifeblood will start pumping strong through cleared veins again. Fear says no, you have to stay. Grace says yes, the door is open.
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